A New Day
by Sharplight-Moongaze
Summary: As the children of the Konoha 12 embark upon their lives as shinobi, the only things that can possibly happen are total chaos. Warning: Occasional profane language, strong violence and gore, and minor to mid refrences to homosexuality. See inside.
1. Begin!

SharpLight: HELLO EVERY PEOPLES! I am your God, SharpLight, or Sharps for short. I have lain down 163 absolute commandments for all to follow. #1: Bring me soda. #2…

MoonGaze: Just… Just stop it brother. Have I told you you're an idiot today? Just stick to the script and get this done.

SL: Fine. Neither of us owns Naruto but we do own the original characters. Commandment 2: BRING ME GOLD!!

MG: SHARPS!!

Narrator 1: It was spring time in the great hidden village of Konoha, the village hidden in leaves. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the screams of children could be heard for miles. Wait, what?

Narrator 2: Let's go back a bit. Our story begins centered on one boy, age 12, tall for his age, with blue spiked hair and blue pupiless eyes. His name is Minato Uzumaki, son of the famed 6th Hokage Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyuga Uzumaki. But this child had a small secret, given away only by small twitching in the back of his trench coat. This secret was that he was actually a demon, as evidenced by the carefully hidden serrated canines, slightly pointed ears, and _tail_. Normally this fact would have left him friendless, but he luckily had a single friend in the world. Her name is Roze Uchiha; a shy red headed girl with spiked hair that was orphaned at age 3 and found huddled in a small bush by Minato. This is a story for another time.

N1: Quiet or we might miss what they're saying!

Minato Uzumaki: I honestly can't see why everyone fears today. All that's happening is we are getting our Jonin sensei.

Roze Uchiha: Um, maybe, perhaps they think your sister might pull another prank, maybe?

N2: _Flashback: It was the day of the final exam. Ino-sensei stepped to the front of the room telling them they had to combine the substitution and transformation jutsu to pass. She was the 3__rd__ examiner they had gone through today on account of students swapping themselves for teachers. As she called out the name of Sakura Uzumaki, sister of Minato and last user of the mokuton, they had all forgotten that she had a prank streak longer than her fathers. The result of this was 17 wood clones all transformed to look like a very enthusiastic and __**NAKED**__ Matio Gai. The screams of children could be heard for miles. Flashback end._

MU: I hope it's not that again.

N1: After they got to the academy, and waited till finally the names of all the people who are in this fic were called out.

Ino Raikou: (Yes, she didn't marry the lard-ball. Big deal) Team 7 is Minato Uzumaki, Roze Uchiha, and Susano Raikou.

N2: At this this a murmur went through the crowded Genin about how 'lucky' Roze was to have the class misanthrope/idol in her team as all eyes turned to a white and blond haired boy with a hair cut like his mothers but without the pony tail and with the front side in mirror images that was sitting in a shadowy corner of the classroom.

IR: Team 8 is Sakura Uzumaki, Cho Aburame, and Hitomi Hyuga.

N1: At this, the class looked from the blond plant ninja to the green haired bug ninja in a mantis green jacket with glasses to the Hyuga weapon master who looked a lot like her mother, Tenten, and then began to pray to whatever god or gods they worshiped.

IR: Team 9 is Chomaru Akimichi, Isshou Nara, and Inu Inuzuka. (A/N: I know it's not creative. Deal with it!)

N2: After glancing from the blond pineapple haired youth that was currently asleep and drooling on the desk the hyperactive blond clad in a blue jumpsuit with braided hair that, if looked at from above, would form an image of a flower to the class fatso who looked just like his father but his cheek markings were that of a spear to the famous wolf ninja, people began to calm down.

IR: And team 10 is Sasuke Uzumaki, Hakura Hatake, and Yuri Lee. Stand by until you're picked up by your sensei.

N1: At this the class looked from the blue haired Neji clone, to a white haired version of Shizune with a mask, to the hyperactive blond clad in a blue jumpsuit with braided hair that, if looked at from above, would form an image of a flower . They pitied Sasuke and Hakura.

N2: And at the very moment Ino had ended her sentence, the entire buildings power flickered and light bulbs began exploding down the hall until a light bulb in the room exploded and a lightning bolt hit the floor. Out of the lightning stepped a man. At well over 6 feet, plus foot long hair, he was one of the tallest men the entire class had seen. He was wearing a long blue silver trench coat lined with lightning bolt designs and under it a red Jonin vest and standard issue black pants. The two oddest things about him were his hair and eyes. His hair was white with touches of gray and silver except in one long streak in the pattern of a lightning bolt continuing down in an extended bang like Ino's but in the pattern of a lightning bolt. His eyes were white grey, corneas in the shape of a solar eclipse and constantly changing. This man was, unbeknownst to the children, Neito Raikou.

Neito Raikou: Ino sweetie, I'm here to pick up my Genin team. Who are they?

IR: Team 7. Now go blow things up somewhere else!

NR: Fine. Team 7; come to the roof at once.

Sakura Uzumaki: WAIT! I want all the Genin to see this. Come on Cho!

N1: And with that, two of the most hyperactive ninja in the room cloned themselves many, many times and transformed all the clones into nude versions of Orochimaru, who then began to sing the song _I'm too Sexy for My Shirt_ and dance an a way that shook his… extra snake… in the faces of their classmates. Now does what I said earlier about the screaming make sense? But you can expect that from Sakura!

N2: and after a time skip, we find our two heroes on their way to the Uzumaki clan house, formerly the Uchiha compound. The reason for this was that, after the death of Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha, the Uzumaki family was asked to keep the house until such time that Roze could come to own it.

N1: And while you were talking they got inside the house and Minato's about to say something important!

MU: OK Roze. I stole dad's ninja info cards. Let's start with Neito sensei. OH!

RU: Oh, what is it?

MU: Look at this.

N2: the card looked like this.

Name: Neito Raikou

Age: 33

Known Aliases: Angel of Death, Lightning God, Phoenix of the Leaf

S rank missions: 1994

A rank missions: 1658

B rank missions: 134

C rank missions: 1

D rank missions: 0

Position: Anbu SEAD leader, Raikami

Tactical specialty: Demolition and total offensive

Signature Jutsu: Lightning Arrow Jutsu, Atom Rasengan, Volt Dragon Jutsu

Kekei Genkai: Taiyougan, Phoenix Fire

Taiyougan information: The Taiyougan is a very special dojutsu in that it can evolve infinitely within one's lifetime. At birth, the Taiyougan only has the ability to lock on to one's target and never lose track of them. But, through the use of the jutsu Inari, one can gain a fraction of the powers held in an opponent's eyes. The most dangerous thing about that is that those abilities may be dojutsu based, or gained by learning, I.E. the ability to deduce a person's biostats at a glance.

Phoenix Fire information: A trait that burns wounds and damage to the body, allowing the regeneration of all tissues except blood. Full extent of powers not known.

Foot note: Neito is quite possibly the most powerful shinobi to walk this earth. Gifted with incredible analytic capabilities, abilities to remember and create jutsu, exceptional skill with all forms of sword and shuriken, and insane speed, he is cursed with the inability to use any chakra except pure electricity, inability to use genjutsu, and inability to use taijutsu. If engaged, use total extreme caution. REWRITE: Flee on Sight Order! REWRITE: Kill at All Costs Order from Cumo!

RU: How, how, how… what can we do?

N1: The reason for her saying this was that, over the time skip, Neito gave the team their final test as taking him down in a three on one fight.

N2: for the last time, I'm sorry for skipping over the team introductions. If you want, I can do a flashback?

N1: Do it.

N2: _Flashback!_

_The three Genin of team 7 had made their way to the rooftop, locating their sensei._

_NR: OK students. I think I'm going to have you all start out by introducing yourselves. I'll go first. My name is Neito Raikou. My likes include sake laced with cobalt and herbal ramen. My dislikes are people who think of others as mere tools. You on the left, go._

_MU: My name is Minato Uzumaki. I enjoy sparing and learning new jutsu. I dislike people who let preconceived notions distort their views of people. My dream is to make people see me for what I do, not what I am._

_NR: Very good. You have potential. Now you, on the right._

_Susano Raikou: Fine. My name is Susano Raikou, son of Neito Raikou and Ino Raikou. I like… I dislike… all I can say is this. My only goal is a form of living forever._

_NR: Son, you still scare me. And last, you in the center._

_RU: Oh, um, my name is Roze Uchiha. My, uh, my likes are music and… oh, but my dislikes are cruel and wasteful people. My dream is to…_

_NR: Well, shyness aside, you have lots of potential as well. In this case I want to see you all at training area 9 at 8 am. Don't be late. Your final test is to fight me._

_Flashback end._


	2. The Fight, the Pain

SharpLight: Hello again to all readers who managed to stumble away through the first chapter. I know it's confusing and I recognize any and all anger, but it's to make sure that you continue reading.

MoonGaze: Wow Sharps that was surprisingly mature coming from you.

SL: Thank you. Commandment #3: All clothing for females may not extend beyond 5 inches past the base of the limb and may have no more than half a centimeter in slack. #4…

MG: GET BACK HERE, SEXIST PIG!!

SL: FLEE! NONE ARE SAFE!

Narrator 1: And today we start out at 10 am. This is because our heroes at team 7 were told to be here at 5 but Neito sensei happened to be 5 hours late. And by the time he did show up, he did so by causing an entire thunderstorm to appear out of a sealing scroll and teleporting in by lightning _while reading an __**orange **__book_!

Susano Raikou: Father, what has taken you such time? Not only are you exactly on time normally, but you know that I hate all things inefficient.

Narrator 2: And as he spoke these words without emotion, an unfelt wind stirred his hair.

Roze Uchiha: Well, um, you also told us to be here at 5, and are reading. Oh, and what are you reading?

Neito Raikou: Well Roze, the book I'm reading is a little thing called porn, and is something you should never touch as it will make your mind explode. And to answer all other questions you have, here's a book I found and am now taking advice from.

N1: At this, Neito tossed a small notebook to Minato who then proceeded to read the book aloud.

Hello reader,

My name is Kakashi Hatake, and if you are reading this book, you want to be an excellent sensei, like me. To do so, just follow my loge. Step 1: every day, make your students get up at some ungodly hour. Step 2: show up hours later while reading porn, as this will bond them over hatred of you.

N2: After this, Minato then shredded the book on the grounds that this was the worst advice he had ever heard.

NR: Aaaand THAT is why we are now going to start your test. If you don't come at me with all your power like you were going to kill me, you will fail. Ready, set, GO!

N1: And thus the fight began. This started with Minato charging forward with an elbow slam, to which Neito countered by bending almost 90 degrees and sending a shock of electricity into him. After which, Susano walked forward with an extra long kunai in his hand, intending to cause a wound while his father was distracted. This to failed. At this, Roze, Sharingan active, began some complex hand seals ending in ram. She then shouted "Forget Me Yes Jutsu" and cast a genjutsu, intent on making Neito's mind go blank. Unfortunately, what she did not know was that Neito had already used his Taiyougan to copy part of the Sharingan and was, at that moment, immune to almost all genjutsu. To counter that, Neito charged in at a moderate speed, trailing electricity behind him. This was countered when Minato, with inhuman stealth, managed to charge in and deliver an aerial axe kick combo, sending Neito toppling to the ground. This was met with unfortunate results.

N2: You see, what our heroes, with the exception of Susano, did not know was that the reason Neito was unable to use true taijutsu was the Phoenix Fire, an insanely powerful regenerative ability. Due to the simple fact that all impacts and strains cause the body damage on a microcellular level, this creates a wound. And due to the expansive nature found in all forms of flames, this would create a small explosion. And a bloody explosion is exactly what happened.

N1: To say the shock was palpable is like to say that the person writing this is a genius. That is, accurate, but inadequate. The first person to recover from this was Susano, who then charged forward with the intent to run a kunai through his father's heart, but failed miserably. This was due to the fact that electrical impulses control a person's entire musculature system. The result of this fact was that Susano was dancing in place, juggling kunai, and singing a very loud song about an idiot sailor who ventured out to find a group of creatures of inhuman beauty who would love whoever found them forever, but forgot the creatures were men!

N2: As soon as Neito stopped that, he found Roze in front of him in a T like stance. She then, after bending her elbows and shouting "Hummingbird Strike," descended upon him in a flurry of strikes that each perfectly targeted the chakra points.

NR: Impressive. Not only have you managed to build instinctive speed when performing strikes, but you have also learned to target chakra points while not a Hyuga. How did you do this?

RU: OH! How are you still alive?

NR: I'll explain after you explain how you created your technique and what the extra strikes are for.

MU: I'll explain Roze. You see, Roze's abilities with Sharingan are well beyond any others, most likely due to the fact that she gained her Sharingan at age 3. Back to point, she has learned to overlay a chakra enhanced memory of a person's chakra network over her actual vision and then, at incredibly high speeds, strikes a person's chakra points twice. The first time is to send chakra flow into overdrive, an ability only 8 Hyuga, my brothers, Roze, and myself posses. The second set of strikes is to shut down all chakra flow entirely. This causes the body to still try to force chakra down persons' chakra pathways at double to triple pressure than it should. Thus, when it reaches the blocked point, it destroys the point in an attempt to relieve the pressure.

NR: Alright. You explained the technique, and I'll explain my invulnerability. Use your Byakugan.

N1: at the moment Minato activated his Byakugan, Neito dropped a small, blue ring from his left hand. As this happened, Minato gasped.

MU: How… that's physically impossible!

RU: What is it, Minato?

MU: He has no chakra points! It's like his entire chakra system is a second nervous system! In addition to that, his entire chakra network is like a bunch of interconnecting systems of chakra coils. As well, he has a second chakra system, kind of like a haze of white. It's incredible!

N2: But the moment he stopped talking, Susano used a jutsu that shot a compressed ball of chakra out of his fingertip, the result being a hole in his dad's head that almost instantly healed. This began a huge barrage of jutsu by Susano, each with hand seals that flew by so fast that it seemed they didn't exist. That is, until Roze looked at the fight with her Sharingan.

RU: Oh! Minato, he doesn't need hand seals!

SR: Very good. 5 points for the Uchiha filth.

MU: What is your problem with Roze? What's she done to you?

SR: Nothing, which is exactly the problem. The "all mighty Uchiha clan" is supposed to be a clan of genii, yet the only thing I see is a cowering maggot whose parents got blown up in a single jutsu.

N1: Man, today we get a lot of work. At this, Roze ran to the nearest small dark place, crying. Immediately after, Minato sedated Susano by hitting the base of Susano's head.

NR: What was that about?

MU: As our sensei, I guess you have a right to know what is going on. This all reflects upon Roze's early childhood.

N2: Flashback time!

_It was the beginning of the Last Strike war, so named because it was a last ditch effort for the sound village. Its casualty list included many great ninja. Ninja like Kakashi Hatake, Choji Akimichi, Akamaru Inuzuka, and Hisui Lee. But the two deaths that affected the Uzumaki family most were the deaths of Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha. It happened like this: Sakura and Sasuke went temporarily out of retirement in order to help protect the village. Unfortunately, they came up against two ninja who were given orders to kill the two ninja at all costs. The result of this was the enemy ninja using a jutsu that, at the cost of their own life, totally annihilates every fiber of an opponent's physical and metaphysical forms. What was unknown to the two leaf ninja was that their daughter had ran away from the evacuation parties to say goodbye._

MU: She arrived just in time to see their deaths. I then found her a couple of days later, huddled and crying in a bush. She says that, on her bad days, she can see her dad's face as he died.

NR: I understand. When you calm her down, tell her you all passed the test. Also, remember to tell her to see Kurenai Sarutobi. Roze really needs psychiatric help.


	3. Time for a GOOD Mission

SharpLight: Hello my hundreds of willing pawns! I am here to tell you 2 things. Number one: the reason that Neito let his students pass was because of how they seemed to mesh their fighting styles. The moment one stopped attacking, another began. Number two: Commandment 4: On the first full moon of the year, everyone must pay a blood tribute to my greatness…

MoonGaze: Sharps, what did I tell you about this.

SL: In a minute. Commandment 5: On the date of a solar or lunar eclipse, all applicable must send their first born daughter to my house, nude!

MG: Now you have gone too far!

SL: Umm… Should I start running now?

Narrator 1: On a crisp morning in the village hidden in the leaves, in a small forest, we find 3 shinobi performing a mission. Let's listen.

Minato Uzumaki: This is Echo, calling Wasp and Hurricane. I have the target within range. He is at 3:48:22 from my present location.

Roze Uchiha: This is Wasp, responding. I have the target in visual range.

Susano Raikou: This is Hurricane. The target is in sight. Commencing take down.

Narrator 2: And with that, 4 separate kunai, each linked to the others by a net, descended in a square formation around a small dog. At this, Minato grabbed the net, dog inside, and the team began to head for their sensei.

N1: Time skip. We next find our heroes in the Hokage's office for their debriefing and next assignment. This tradition had actually become quite rare, due to a flood of immigrant ninja and the disbanding of the counsel. But on rare occasions a group of Genin got in to see the Hokage.

NR: Whirlwind! Man, I haven't seen you sense the SEAD squad had to destroy that huge armory.

Naruto Uzumaki: Sparky! I knew that setting you up as sensei with those 3 would be a good idea. So, can you give the report of your team's latest mission?

NR: It went perfectly! We got lord Dogskull's pup in 27:07 minutes flat.

NU: Excellent. Now, before I give you your next mission, I need to discuss some odd reports in the general area of your missions.

NR: Ummmm…

N2: _Flashback!_

_NR: Alright team! You go out and do the mission. In the meanwhile, I'll be getting some target practice on that butterfly WAY over there._

_Flashback end._

NU: But I'm sure that these are just general disturbances. Anyway, your team is to be sent on a mission to destroy a weapons depot. This is a B rank mission.

RU: But, lord Hokage, we're only Genin. We aren't ready to take on anything above high C! (A/N: Pun intended.)

NU: That's why I gave you Sparky as a sensei. He's the one responsible for that large crater in training area 68.

NR: Well, you all heard Whirlwind! Meet me at training area 68 in 5 minutes. Dismissed!

N1: At this, Neito converted himself into a bolt of lightning and hopped through the building power system. Following him, quite futilely I might add, were his students. After about a minute, Neito reappeared in the room with Naruto waiting for him.

NR: I have a bone to pick with you, Whirlwind!

NU: What is it? Did Ichiraku screw up your order again?

NR: No, they got it right. My problem is you gave me a team of genii!

NU: Um, do you mean a team of wish granters, or a team of genius type people?

NR: The second one. Look at their skills. Wasp has the skill with Sharingan to mimic Hyuga style AND improve upon it, Hurricane can do any jutsu sans seals just by hearing the hand seals, and Echo has a full tail of demonic chakra combined with almost perfect chakra control, and Echo's chakra capacity is still growing!

NU: Look, you're the only person who can train them in the use of their eyes. I might have been able to get away with sending Minato to learn from Neji how to control his Byakugan, but it would be a waste to send someone with that much chakra to a _taijutsu expert_.

NR: Fine, but I'm still giving them _The Test_ before I teach them anything big.

N1: And so…

N2: WAIT! I just learned that the fanfiction narrators union has gone on strike!

N1/N2: STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE!!

SL: Damn! Ok readers, sense they've left the building we're going to try this in a more traditional format of writing.

MG: I told you that you should have paid them!

SL: And I told you that you don't pay people you tricked into a soul binding contract! You should know they're no better than slaves as long as I follow Macc Maverick's advice.

MG: Wait, wasn't I supposed to be dismembering you?

SL: FLEE! Oh, and to the readers, back to the show.

3 hours later

At training field 68

NR: OK kids, sense this is a mission that would be normally suicide to a Genin team, I'm going to need to get a rundown of your skills. You go first, Hurricane.

SR: … Fine, if it can't be helped. A grand total of 15 c-rank jutsu, 3 b-rank jutsu, 8 a rank-jutsu and 1 s-rank jutsu in addition to a level 53 Taiyougan. Anything else?

NR: No, that's fine. Inches away from Susano. Your turn Wasp.

RU: Oh, ok. I, uh, know about 309 jutsu of v-varying rank, and have, um, a-rank taijutsu skills. Is that, uh, ok?

SL: Sharps here. Sense we have been unable to do this scene without a narrator by just slapping on an insert crap here type thing, I will be your temporary narrator. Back to point, the reason that Roze's still got a Hinata-grade shy streak is that the psychological trauma to her mind was great, and Kurenai could only do so much over the course of a month. She's still shy, but only when not on missions.

NR: Alright Roze, all I need to see is your Sharingan.

RU: A-alright. Activates Sharingan

NR: activates Taiyougan What the hell? Drop it, now!

MU/SR: Stares at Neito like he chopped off his arm to use as a back scratcher, again.

RU: NO! Not that.

NR: Then I'll do it for you.

SL: This job is humiliating for a writer of my genius. Anyway… After he said that, Roze's eyes began to change. The normal red of the Sharingan was replaced by a brilliant amethyst purple. The familiar comma marks changed into blood red spirals, a line running from the end of the spiral across the spirals focus and beyond its end a bit until it grew into a triangle spiral.

SR: Sensei, what is _that?_

NR: A Sharingan variant I thought had disappeared long ago. It's called the Getsu Sharingan. It allows a person to form custom genjutsu on the fly without the use of hand seals.

MU: Roze, why did you keep this a secret?

RU: BECAUSE! I didn't want you and your family to look at me as a freak. You're the closest thing I have to one. Starts to cry

MU: Uses his tail to dry her tears Roze, I could never look at you as a freak. Hell, I have a tail!

RU: Smiles

NR: As touching as this moment is, It's your turn to tell me your skills Echo. Finds head missing Head re-grows

MU: Wipes blood off hand How about I show you my most powerful jutsu and we call it even, k?

NR: Sure.

MU: Alright. A sphere of what appear to be thin sharp blades appears in his palm Hyuga-Uzumaki clan jutsu, Bladed Rasengan! Slams BR into a tree, totally obliterating the trunk and causing blades to explode outward

NR: HOLY Various noises of loud volumes occur. WITH A BUCKET OF GRAVY!

MU: Blushes

RU: Passes out

NR: OK, I think you all are ready to go on this mission. But first, meet me here tomorrow after signing these waivers.Hands out slips of paper

RU: Wakes up. But why do we have to sign these?

NR: Cause you might die.


End file.
